i owe the blog world an entry
okay, it is obvious i'm not a blogger...LOL. i am not a writer. i do not have a lot to say. but i thought i owed the blog world an update.
so we're moving. we're packing. it is a lot of fun...NOT. it is a surreal time right now. you know how time usually feels like it's either going too fast or too slow. well, right now...it's doing both for me. going fast because i do not feel like i will ever have enough time to get it all done by the 24th. going slow because it feels like an eternity since scotty left on the 3rd and i can't wait for it to all be done and over with. i wish it were like christmas. you know the waiting, anticipation and all that. but you can just go to sleep and before you know it, it's morning and it's here!! that's how i want this move to be. i want to just go to sleep and wake up and have it all done!!
so what else is new? i have recently been back in touch with some people from my past. not just my childhood best friend in florida. but people i went to high school with. that has been exciting. there were only a handful of people that i really really loved...and right now i'm lucky to be in contact with a few of them again. pam, sheila, becky, david. there are still a few more i would love to hear from again, TJ, todd, tony, susan, christy, angela, scott. i even had a dream last night about my 8th grade love, tim. so my head is all wrapped up in the past right now as i'm in the process of planning a new future. it is a wonderful time.
something interesting happened the other day. okay, i don't know if interesting is the right word for it...but anyway. silas had been frog and lizard catching with his friend leslie. he had caught the tiniest tree frog, tiny tiny tiny. he came to show it to me. they are in the breezeway playing with their catches and the next thing i know silas comes in crying. like, really really crying. the frog had jumped out of his hand and his friend stepped on it. oh my god, it broke my heart. he was so very upset, i can't even describe it. then samuel started crying because he can't stand to see silas upset. i went out to pick it up and bury it and i started crying (not sobbing, but i did tear up a bit). it was so pitiful to see this little guy that i had just seen alive and jumping. and of course, seeing silas so upset and feeling his sadness. BUT, as i picked it up, it moved. turns out the little guy only looked smooshed. he was just little enough to escape being crushed. a dribbled him with some water because he was dry from being handled and he was perky and jumping in no time. so here's the weird thing. silas is the child who usually shuts down emotionally. he is often unable to express extreme sadness (example, he could not cry when his grandmother died. although he was very very upset and you could see that tears wanted to come). yet, here he was nearly hysterical over this frog. i find this unusual. but i know that it is "normal" for him. really big stuff maybe is too much for him to process. i don't know. maybe the immediacy of seeing it alive and then seeing it "dead"...i don't know.
i watched "off the map" again the other day during a much needed break. i really love that movie. i need to watch it again and again to help remind me of what it is i really want my life to be like.
okay, i blogged =)